Thursday, October 29, 2009

Thank You Pandora

Due to some unfortunate circumstances I haven't been able to listen to Relient K for just over a year now.
I made a Pandora account yesterday.. based on the song Fireflies by Owl City...
Needless to say.. Relient K has been playing all day...
Thanks Pandora.. for reuniting me with a painful past..
This is how it started..
First Song: I cringed..and my ears hurt
Second Song: I tried to pretend I couldn't hear it
Third Song: I hesitantly listened to the lyrics
Fourth Song: I actually listened
Fifth Song: I began to enjoy
Now I like Relient K again..
There's still a few songs that I won't listen to
But thanks Pandora...for reuniting me with a band I really do like...I just pretended not to.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Where Might It Have Gone?

As of late.. I've experienced a lot of foreign emotions. Which is weird.. because I pretty much thought I'd felt them all.

But for the past few weeks I've been feeling tired...exhausted... of the love story.

I'm a romantic girl. I never tired of living vicariously through the beautiful love stories I saw in the movies.. smiling inwardly when I saw a couple cuddling, or holding hands, thinking about my future love, reading and talking about it. It seemed as though love, romance, and passion was the very oxygen I used to sustain my absolutely average life.


I'm tired of it.

I feel terrible sometimes for feeling this way. Almost as if I'm betraying my own nature.

I find myself avoiding romantic movies...reaching instead for action or (this is exceptionally distressing) documentaries.

I no longer smile at the couples..rather walk quickly by..ignoring their seemingly inconsiderate infatuation with each other.

Am I becoming bitter?

Please no..I'm still young.

I still find myself yearning for that someone. But I don't want to think about it, watch it, read it, or see it.

What is happening to me?

Maybe it's just a phase. After some good alone time, perhaps I will reunite with my romance.

It does feel weird to be separated from it.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Leave Unsaid Unspoken

The sound of the piano trickles over her skin like musical raindrops.
She closes her eyes.
This here is her place, no one ever has..nor will enter into it.
A place where each thought slows until it decides to make sense.
The words she hears give definition to the confusion of her heart.
Each combination of notes, each melody, harmony, chord, and progression fill every hole. All except one.
She lay. Feeling the comforting scratch of dry carpet against her delicate skin that has felt so much,
Skin she wishes she could shed for new. She listens as the music crawls in and fills up the space. She welcomes it with an open soul, greeting each discovery with relief. When she hurts, this world of music hurts to.
We cry. We laugh. We speak. We scream. We hope. We wish. We hide. We dream.
This is what keeps her head up.

This is what hurts

Cause these boys only listen to me when I sing...
And I don't feel like singing tonight all the same songs...
No right minds could wrong be this many times
Defending intentions if he fails
Mine was so easy to uncover
He'd already left with the other
I realized that I try to romanticize everything in my life...what does that mean?
I have matching zits on either side of my forehead..I'm does that happen?
There's something about flower shops that make me want to smile and drink tea...
Sara Bareilles is singing my heart tonight..

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Days Like These

Maybe I should have payed more attention in health class back in my freshman year of high school. I believe that I pulled a muscle. How? One might wonder.. Is it possible for a muscle to pull itself? Can you pull your muscle whilst sleeping? What about when stepping out of the bathtub? While eating? Maybe while crawling out of a bunk bed? Obviously it must be one of those.. because that's all I've done in the past 48 hours..
Also.. who knew that there was a muscle that took up a good half to three quarters of your leg. I'm out of commission for the time being.. which is alright.. because I've just been laying on the couch watching old 50's movies anyway.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

A Land Called Paradise

So we've been discussing the Muslim religion and the social and economic situation in the Middle Eastern countries for the past couple of weeks in my Humanities class. My professor showed this youtube video in class today and I thought that others should get the chance to watch it as well.
We all just want to be understood :)
Go here

Monday, October 12, 2009

They're Killing Me Softly...

When I get the chance, I'll turn the next one away,
I won't get caught up...I'll look at him and say
"Go away please, there's no room in this inn,
I want no more battles in this war I can't win"
I didn't really just say that did I?
I did, must be losin it.
Cuz it almost felt like there might be some truth in it.
Gotta get outta here, stop playin these games
They're killing me softly, same guys...different names
I'm tired of this love tired

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

It's a List Day

So I've been having a lot of random thoughts lately...
(it's actually a fact that I only think random thoughts)

Here's some lists I've come up with.

To do someday:

  • Learn Arabic and read the Koran
  • Walk 10 miles just to see what that feels like
  • Go one week without using my cell phone and see how lonely I feel
  • Hitch hike...for real
  • Go surfing in Australia (and not care how many sharks there are)
  • Own 500 movies that I love

All the Degrees I want to get:

  • Biology - so I can become a vet
  • English Literature - so I can be a librarian
  • French - so I can be an interpreter in the U.S embassy in France
  • Theatre Arts - so I can be an actress
  • Piano Performance - so I can be a concert pianist
  • Psychology - so I can be a psychologist

All the pets I want to have someday:

  • Horses
  • Dogs
  • Cats
  • A bird or two
  • A rabbit or two
  • I wouldn't mind having a rat..only a cute one though.. His name will be Gus Gus in honor of Cinderella
  • Maybe a dairy cow.. just for fun..and maybe for milk
  • Chickens..fresh eggs are the best

So.. keep in mind..all of these thoughts happened either:

  • In the middle of class
  • Right before I fell asleep
  • One of those times when you wake up randomly in the night
  • While eating
  • While watching tv
  • While walking to class
  • When I was driving

That's all :)