Sunday, January 31, 2010

I Shall Love Mine Yet

" I shall love mine yet; and take him with me - he's in my soul. The thing that irks me most is this shattered prison, after all. I'm tired, tired of being enclosed here. I'm wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there; not seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of an aching heart; but really with it, and in it. -Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte

Friday, January 1, 2010

All My Thoughts

I believe in the dreams I dream while sleeping. They always mean something.
This is a text I sent myself in the middle of the night several nights ago...
"I changed the hearts to stars so he wouldn't know...I did it again just for him even though I knew. I saw a love story and dreamt again. This time was different. It meant the future."
I know exactly what this means.
Just a few nights ago.. I dreamt that
As I sat in a room full of people, opposite the only one I could see.. I said " I'm done. I pull out of this game." He said "Once you're in, you can't pull out" My response was to shake my head, look him in his eyes and say "I'm all done." Then I left.
The cool thing was. I meant it.
And then there's tonight.
"I'm sick of people telling me what to do. My business is mine. Back out. Leave me alone. I want no more with your expectations and controlling ways.. Push here a little, twist there a little. Sorry but I already graduated high school."