Thursday, September 27, 2012 was a milestone. Or at least I'd like it to be. For those of you who know me and my restless wanderings around this beautiful country I hope you can pause and breathe in the seriousness of this moment.  I've planted myself and I think for the first time I'll start to throw out a few roots. While I have been known to promise similar commitments before, either in person or through this blog, I really mean it this time. The proof is in the pudding right? (whatever that means) Well here's your proof. I've officially unpacked all of my belongings. And even further than that...I have, as of just a moment ago, thrown away my packing boxes. All of them. Except for one..(but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it). And to further prove my point, these weren't just cardboard moving boxes I picked up from the local grocery store. These were solid plastic bins and containers. They cost money...and I just threw them away. To be totally honest, only time will tell if I can make good on my statement of stability.. but like I said.. I think today was a milestone. :)

And another thing. My mom wasn't one of those mothers that was super strict about making your bed.. in fact I remember my mom teaching me how to make a bed, but I don't remember actually using that skill in my childhood. Or now that I think about it.. ever using it. But since I moved into my new place I've made my bed every single day, Coming up on two months. (That's a life record) I'm not sure if that's a sign of my growing maturity.. or if maybe I'm just proud of my space. Either way I feel just a little bit more grown up.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

My blog up to this point, has been primarily creative writing pieces or poems or short thoughts based mostly on heartbreak, or sadness or simply feeling lost. That's pretty much because those are the things that inspire me. I've always struggled with writing about things that make me happy, and I've put a lot of thought into why that might be. A thought came to me this morning on that particular topic.. I think it's because in the last several years, I haven't had much that made me so profoundly happy that I was stirred to write about it. The strongest emotions bring out the most beautiful work, and my strongest emotions have been laced with bitterness and melancholy.
But! Today, as I look around at my new sweet little bedroom, as I look out my window at my quiet tree lined street, as I feel the ceiling fan mixed with the breeze through the window bringing me scents of trees and fresh cut grass, as I think about my new job and the joy I feel at bringing new life to those in need I feel deep and distinct joy. I look forward to the future with a happiness in my heart that I barely recognize. While there are still troubles and stress, I can't help but think about the check I wrote yesterday. My first month's rent. The biggest check I've ever written and I smile because I know it'll go through and I won't have to eat noodles and rice until my next paycheck.
I think what I'm trying to say is, for the first time, in a long time.. I'm proud of the choices I've made that got me here. I feel strong and confident. I feel emotionally stable enough to handle anything. And that means everything to me right now.