Monday, February 28, 2011

Mornings When Visions of the Future Are What You Wake Up To

I want to feel nothing but the reverberating bass in my chest and I want to dance with it
I want to sing until my throat hurts and my voice has left me
I want to see the turquoise water and the white sandy beaches on the coast of Samoa,
I want to take in the beauty of this world. All of it.
I want to hear the laughter of those I love and smile at their joy.
I want to inspire action, and facilitate change.
I want to play the piano as if the love for the instrument hadn't been practiced out of me.
I want to read. Escape to worlds long past, and worlds far future.
I want to haggle for pricing at a market in a
foreign language.
I want a cottage as my home.
A home that is always open.
With a garden outside my window.
With a few dogs and a few kids having adventures in the back yard.
With a kitchen always full
Full of sunshine, wonderful food, chatter and stories.
I want a husband.
A husband who will smile and kiss me.
I want peaceful nights, and early mornings.
I want my wounds to heal
and to find a place where I won't get any more.
I want to forget.
Forget about everything except for what I learned.
I want to create.
I want to live in my swimsuit and work at a surf shop
I want to be in the sun, and warm water
I want to meet a million people and always be close to my best friend
I want to go out every night
to bonfires on the beach
and clubs and hole-in-the-wall pubs.
I want my skin to tan.
I want to feel.
I want to live life the best I can.
I want to take advantage of the time that's been given.
I want...

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Jar of Hearts

Once in a blue moon, I'll hear a song. A song that when it plays I think to myself..
I could have easily written that. Not for the simplicity of lyrics, or the repetitiveness of melody..
but because those are the words my heart has been searching for.
The ones that if I had known how to express my feelings they are the words I would have used.
And in that exact order.

Some songs have a powerful message.
Some have a beautiful melody.
Some have lyrics that are soothing to your soul.
And even more just make you want to dance.

It is a rare thing, to find a song that carries all of these qualities.
This song. Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri.
She knows. Because I couldn't have said it better myself.

Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts Official Video

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Yes It Hurts

Yes I do. Every single day. And yes. It hurts.

She wrote in her notebook.
She wasn't quite sure what to do with this weight she'd been carrying.
A heartache that couldn't be soothed.
She was finding it harder and harder to keep herself pulled together.
Tears leaving trails down her cheeks when she drove to work in the morning,
before she fell asleep at night,
and inexplicably many times while checking her email.

She looked up from her writing and breathed deeply.
Softly closed her eyes and imagined a different girl.
A different life.
She knew when she opened her eyes,
that everything would be the same.
And that hurt too.

Yes I do. Every single day. And yes. It hurts.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

3rd Fun Thing and El Salvador

So, the third fun thing this year was (surprisingly) the Super Bowl! Laura and I made a super bowl cake which I'm very proud of :)

We enjoyed the super bowl with an apartment full of friends, purple drink, and queso. Go Packers!

Next on my life "to do" list is visit another country on a humanitarian trip. I was recently accepted into the HELP International program in El Salvador and I leave in May! I'm really excited for this opportunity to help build up the community in San Salvador and make a lasting difference in the lives of the people there.

To document my preparations and my trip I've created another blog called Adventures in Republica de El Salvador. The url is It's in the making right now, but visit when you get the chance and I'd love to keep you all updated!

My room mate and I started P90X this past week, and I'm definitely feeling the effects. But it feels really good to be exercising. I can't wait until I feel strong and healthy. Beginning of week 2 starts tomorrow. Wish me luck!