My blog up to this point, has been primarily creative writing pieces or poems or short thoughts based mostly on heartbreak, or sadness or simply feeling lost. That's pretty much because those are the things that inspire me. I've always struggled with writing about things that make me happy, and I've put a lot of thought into why that might be. A thought came to me this morning on that particular topic.. I think it's because in the last several years, I haven't had much that made me so profoundly happy that I was stirred to write about it. The strongest emotions bring out the most beautiful work, and my strongest emotions have been laced with bitterness and melancholy.
But! Today, as I look around at my new sweet little bedroom, as I look out my window at my quiet tree lined street, as I feel the ceiling fan mixed with the breeze through the window bringing me scents of trees and fresh cut grass, as I think about my new job and the joy I feel at bringing new life to those in need I feel deep and distinct joy. I look forward to the future with a happiness in my heart that I barely recognize. While there are still troubles and stress, I can't help but think about the check I wrote yesterday. My first month's rent. The biggest check I've ever written and I smile because I know it'll go through and I won't have to eat noodles and rice until my next paycheck.
I think what I'm trying to say is, for the first time, in a long time.. I'm proud of the choices I've made that got me here. I feel strong and confident. I feel emotionally stable enough to handle anything. And that means everything to me right now.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
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Yay! Sounds awesome Britt! I'm so glad you're happy :D
ReplyDeleteThanks Ricqui! It feels good :) Congratulations on your baby boy! I saw some pictures of him on facebook and he's adorable, you must be very proud :)
DeleteHooray! :) Best feeling ever.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree with you more
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